Ponderings from the Autiverse

A big topic today, but one which has been on my mind for some time. As an autistic woman who grew up undiagnosed, has battled depression and anxiety since my teens, and over the years added PTSD and Post-Natal depression to my list of diagnoses, I have pondered over many years about how God sees those of us whose mental health or neurotype does not match the majority of the population. Do not Worry "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?   Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?   Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"   (Matthew 6: 27-27) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My teenage years, ...

  The month of April is often filled with social media posts about Autism Awareness, Autism Acceptance, and puzzle pieces (or why we shouldn't accept them as symbols to represent the autistic community). It can be hard to know what to think if you are coming across it for the first time, and if it is something you are familiar with, you may be asking 'so what's the point? Do we need this?' I wanted to share my experiences of coming to realise that I am autistic, and how this realisation transformed my life. And how I have come to not only be aware, or accept it, but embrace it as a part of myself that I wouldn't change for the world. How it all started I'm not going to go back to my birth and take it from there, don't worry (!) but growing up, I was aware enough to notice that I didn't fit in, but not aware that I was autistic. This meant that instead of looking for an answer, I blamed myself for being stupid and not being able to pick up on things that ...

I t's been a long winter, but this year I have found that my seasonal depression has been unusually under control. I think my approach to life this winter has really helped, and I am so glad it has. Far from being a sudden new start, this first quarter of the year has been one of self-nurture and gentle encouragement, leading to beginning to feel able to take on more at my own pace.  I bought myself a new camera about a month ago, with the idea of learning to use a camera that has manual settings as well as automatic ones. I am hoping that I can learn enough to take some really lovely pictures whilst out on local walks - some of which could then be turned into paintings later, perhaps. I also thought it would be a good way to encourage myself out of the house. I managed one very lovely walk, but also realised that I still have a fear of falling over (thanks to breaking my arm a couple of years ago) and so the mud proved more challenging than I expected. I'm still hopeful that I...

January is often seen as a month to endure, to make new plans for self-improvement and then berate yourself for failing to live up to. All because of an arbitrary date in the calendar that sees the number of the year go up by one. My thoughts on making resolutions I'm afraid that I don't understand, or I opted out many years ago. Why are new year's resolutions a thing? Did someone just wake up one morning and decide 'I know, I'll make everyone feel guilty and rubbish about themselves by encouraging them to set themselves impossible goals that they will never succeed in keeping to for more than a few weeks'? And why are so many of them focused on weight loss? Literally the day after Christmas, the adverts on the radio changed from 'Here's loads of really unhealthy food, but you should eat it because it's Christmas', to 'Here's an advert for weight loss jabs, you fat loser' (and the voiceover was a woman, so clearly intended for a femal...

It's been a long while since my last blog post - but I haven't been sitting around twiddling my thumbs. The last six weeks of the school term saw busyness which ramped up until the very last couple of days before the holidays, and my family and I were just 'treading water' to get through it all. It is difficult to explain, but it felt as if finding time for anything but survival was just not possible. Head down, keep going.... (mixed metaphors here, I apologise - if you're treading water, please don't put your head down!!) The season of intense busyness We've had school concerts, a big birthday party, toddler group festivities, not to mention church music at the beginning of December as well as the Christmas services. We've had family visits, big times of stress, and unexpected change. The run up to Christmas felt like a marathon, but one like in the Olympics where all of the other runners are much faster and better at it than me, leaving me puffing at t...

It never ceases to amaze me just how many wide ranging interests my daughter has and how much she loves taking a deep dive into the things she loves. Since the summer she has developed an intense and encyclopaedic interest in axolotls. This has resulted in some fascinating conversations, and some very entertaining artwork. My daughter, who wants to be known on here as Galaxolotl, has started drawing some beautiful comics, which she has asked me to share with you. She likes to explain about different types of neurodivergence using her artwork. Introducing Auti Lotl and friends! Auti Lotl and Halloween Hopefully I will be able to share more of these with you as and when she has drawn more!